So Bill Doyle has been madmanning the Slapdash Racing NEFR-16 effort up there in the woods at CageThis.com for more than two weeks now. He's been tractor-beaming so many parts and resources from all over the world -- Southern California, Germany and everywhere in between. It's gotten so fever-pitched, I've even changed my eEuroparts.com address to go directly to the Doctor in his Lab.

When I finally got to go to Cage This on Saturday, I arrived before the Good Doctor had arrived, but the rally car was in pieces. Like all over the place, pieces. It was like someone was performing open-heart surgery, an appendectomy, a blood transfusion and a brain transplant -- then suddenly abandoned the operation and moved to Monaco for tax purposes.

Naturally, as the driver and car owner, I did what every semi-experienced rally driver and car owner would do 10 days before a major event arriving to see the car in this shape -- I ran around in circles biting my fingernails, rocking back and forth in a corner and whimpering a little. OK, full-on sobbing.

After I free-based 17 bottles of Xanax and got my levels back down to 'elevated', I jumped in and got going. The Good Doctor calmed the nerves and eased the emotions. "We'll get it done, don't worry."

Well wouldn't ya know it, he did. The car was still hot and smokin' from some last-minute welding when it rolled on the trailer, but dammit, he was right!