Kris “Captain Ramius” Gove
Owner/Driver/Chief Lunatic
Gove owns the car, so he gets to drive it the most. He also has an obsessive compulsion to rally virtually at any cost. Ignoring sound advice that it’s always cheaper to buy than build, Gove bought a bone-stock 1988 BMW 325is with the wont and desire to build from scratch, like building the ultimate car model. Once funding is secure, he will drive the Slapdash BMW in all the rallycrosses and stage rallies he can handle.
The Slapdash Racing Team
Bill "Red Bull" Doyle
Umm, yeah, we still haven't figured Bill out...
Bill would be racing his own car, if we hadn't broken it the last time out. While he's building a new one, in between building roll cages for rally and track cars for his company Cage This (a major Slapdash sponsor), Bill often sits in the Silly Seat and provides everything from master welding services, to extensive rally and E30 knowledge. Bill is his own category.
Kyle “The Polish Hammer” Dwyer Lumber Division
Master Disassembler/Wood Supplier
The Polish Hammer came to Slapdash under heavy coercion and sedatives. When Captain Ramius finally let him out of the trunk of the 325 and asked P Hamm for help with bleeding the brakes, it was a sunny, 75-degree, cloudless day. When the work actually began, it suddenly became windy, rainy and the temps just crested 50. When The Polish Hammer came back on another occasion to help with interior removal, the temp had dropped to 30 degrees and the only heat available was rising from the engine bay after a spirited test run. Dwyer seems to be willing to attempt anything and has a great knack for making funny noises disappear. In other words, he uses the Jedi Mind Trick on Ramius, who thinks he hears funny noises emanating from the car all the time.
Finley the Wunder Puppy
Title Under Review
Bio coming soon!
Ryan “Tarmac” Donaldson
Beer Supplier/Auto Enthusiast
Tarmac heads up Slapdash Racing's Beer Division. Instead of fine wine, Tarmac provides details, hints and highlights as its resident beer connoisseur. Tarmac is also a chronic craigslist cruiser. He sources parts, parts cars and anything else Slapdash can use to achieve its ultimate goal – stage rally. Tarmac is also part of the disassembly team and has the patience and eye for detail that keeps other Slapdashers from overzealously removing potentially valuable bits from the car (See “The Polish Hammer”).
Olive the Wunder Dog
Security/Comic Relief
Olive's chief position is randomly barking while the crew has large, heavy objects balanced precariously above their heads, or are engrossed in the most complicated electrical situations known to 27-year-old BMWs. Olive the Wunder Dog is a fox terrier and black Lab mix, with maybe some greyhound or whippet mixed in for good measure. O is all of 28 pounds of the bossiest small dog you could imagine. She thinks she's a lot bigger and meaner than her dainty frame shows. While she can't yet fetch the newspaper, she is great for a laugh when tough times or bad weather gloom over the Slapdash Racing compound.
Matt "Albie Damned" Albie
Co-Driver/E30 Guru
Young Matt can quote the torque specs on a German car that's three years older than he is without even cracking open the E30 Bentley Manual. Albie Damned is also our chief rescue swimmer, y'know, should we end up upside down in the pond. We've turned his OCD for cleanliness and organization into an asset because no one else on this confounded team knows where anything is, or even, if found, where it should go.
Steph “Skeeball” Gove
Team Manager/Spiritual Leader/Head Sherpa
Skeeball has the unfortunate luck of being married to a stage rallyist and lofty dreamer. She provides optimism when there seems no hope, enthusiasm when the well runs dry and grounding advice when she finds Gove sobbing uncontrollably in the corner. Skeeball also heads up the image department, directing the overall look of Slapdash Racing – from the car itself, to the website and even the driver. She is also the team rocker, providing killer vocals and funky soul beats whenever the mood strikes. Skeeball has no idea what’s she's gotten herself into – and Slapdash would like to keep it that way. Shhh!
Dan "Cuddly Soft" Downey
Co-Driver/Fellow E30ist
Dan started his official rally career by swatting pterodactyl-sized mosquitoes while volunteering for the 2010 New England Forest Rally. Since then, he's been ripping up various fields, forests and hillclimbs in his '88 E30 rallyx car prepping for full-on stage rally. At the last minute, Dan signed up to navigate the Slapdash BMW to sure victory in 2015! pterodactylpterodactyl
